guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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