i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
