You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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