is wine microwaveable?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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