Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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