Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didn't notice because vodka
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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