I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
