I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
