And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
