Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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