D3 body, D1 cock
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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