it was like his penis was on wheels.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
