You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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