She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Still dying that you shit outside
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
