Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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