this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
