Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
