new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
