now i know why i became what i already was.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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