he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
