i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
