We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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