let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
