so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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