youre lurking in front of me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
