He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
