it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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