cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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