Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
