Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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