dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
