wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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