There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
