Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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