She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
