so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
