Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
God, I missed his penis.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
