why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
