Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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