real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
