i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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