Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
