p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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