my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
