you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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