my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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