Don't you send me to vm
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
