i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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