singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
