he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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