They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
