Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His nipple licking is glorious
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